Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
