idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize