i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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