this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
