Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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