Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
