At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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