dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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