If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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