Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
