Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
