Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
