drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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