she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
