ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
