I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
