i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
