i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
