Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize