Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
