I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize