Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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