How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just found a bag of teeth...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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