You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
