Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
