so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
