Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize