i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
