2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
