I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
