Sponge bath it is.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
