i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize