It's Friday. Sex?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize