C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he thought i was a dude.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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