Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
no you cant smoke seaweed
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
