i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is it because I queefed?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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