I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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