No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
