So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
