They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
