YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
