Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
