I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
