No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
