I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I touched a dick in church today
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
