can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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