She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
