I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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