So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
