I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize