i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
