Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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