just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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