He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
