you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize