Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
