Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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