My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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