Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
