My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
