If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
