everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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