I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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