Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize