Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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