As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize