You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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