I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
