Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
being pregnant is like rehab
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
