Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
