I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize