i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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