haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
