Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Green mimosas i think yes
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
