I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
