She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
