White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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